Weird Tears

DISCLAIMER: This is full of maybe too personal stuff..but I left off names and faces...tonight, this felt like a safe place to share.

Wow, the last 10 days have been weird and created lots of tears...some normal but some weird. I am proud to have been adopted many many many many :) years ago and I can assure you that I have the greatest mom in the world. We may not always see eye to eye on stuff....but the sacrifices and junk she put up with just so I could be her daughter...wow! Anyway, I don't have a ton of memories from before I was with my mom...and the ones I do have are not positive ones. I was adopted when I was very young and so my life is built around my mom and dad...not around a few negative memories. I know and I feel super blessed to have my mom. I was sent a text message several days ago that the woman who gave birth to me died. She has other children that were not adopted and for them....their mom died. I can sense that they are heartbroken. For me though, my mom is still fine. Does this make me horrible? I love my mom....my loyalties are with her. I am so super sad that this woman's family is suffering. I hope and pray that her life was right with Jesus....this is where the weird tears come to play...I have cried tears at the thought that this woman created such a sad life for herself and that life ultimately impacted several other people in negative ways. I am sad that my parents suffered hurts and wounds at her hands. But more than that, I am sad for her family...because ultimately, their mom died. Father, I pray for peace for her children and family. Father, thank you for picking out the best mom for me! Thank you for blessing me with an amazing mom....an awesome dad....and some pretty great sisters too. Thank you for giving myself and my brother a great set of parents...a family...committed to us always. Jesus, I ask you to hold her family in Your loving arms and give them rest and comfort.

Sorry if that was too personal.

Then...a couple of days later...my very good friend who lives in the Houston area....got some hard news this week. Before I say too much about that, first let me tell you about this amazing and Godly woman. This woman walked (maybe trudged) through many struggles in her life. She has endured many mistakes...some at her own hands..but many at the hands of others. She came through all that...and she has grown into an amazing Kingdom warrior! I am so proud of her. Our friendship has been long and has mostly...seriously...more than anything else...been filled with joy and laughter! She cracks me up! She is hilarious...and I can't tell you how many times, her joy has brought healing to my heart at just the right moment. She has a 14 year old daughter and a 13 year old son. She has a 16 year old stepdaughter and an 11 (I think) year old stepson. She is a fabulous mom! This woman is one of my heros...for way too many reasons to list here....but mostly because if it were not for her heart, for her compassion, for her willingness....I would not have my daughter. She put herself into a situation that she was not obligated to be in, and she did it for my precious Ally. Without her, I would not have the blessing and the joy of having been given my last and precious child. This week, this very tough woman endured an emergency hysterectomy on Monday. Then, on Wedensday, found out that she has leukemia. Needless to say, she was devastated...as was I. We had prayed and we prayed and we sought God for over a week with this possibility and ultimately God did not give us the answer that we sought. Now, the good news in this is that the doctors tell her that she has the "best" kind of cancer to have....is there a good cancer? They have a plan in place already and they feel very positive that her outcome will be good. I tell you this because I am asking you to pray for this amazing woman. I am not asking you to commit to praying everyday for her. I am not asking you for anything more than for one prayer....right this minute. I believe that God hears the prayers of the faithful...and I believe that He has the perfect solution to this and every situation. Please pray for her children and her family as they begin the road to treatment and a life of medical "stuff." Pray for normalcy and a sense of well-being for her. Pray that she would heal quickly from her surgery. Pray that her husband would be soft and tender at just the right moments for her. Pray that her friends will always be seen and heard at just the perfect moment. I know you do not know her...but many of you do know Ally. Please, in honor of Ally, just send up a quick little prayer for my very special friend.....these were the normal tears.

Because this week was filled with many strange and uncomfortable...and unnatural emotions...I feel like I did not accomplish all that I had hoped to. So pray for me too if you think about it. Pray that I am the friend that is just what she needs. Pray that I am out of the picture when appropriate but that I know just when to step in as well. I want to be a blessing to her. Nothing I do or say or ever do or say will compare to the gift that she brought to me with Ally....but maybe I can do a good job of representing Jesus to her.

On a very positive note: I AM SO SUPER EXCITED ABOUT LIFT! I can't wait to see how God uses this awesome program to change the lives of young men and women all around the South Plains. I feel blessed and honored to get to be a part of another avenue of Kingdom building at COTR! Soon...you will all begin to see and hear all about this amazing adventure for young people!

You know what? Thank you for "listening." These were some strange things to feel and be a part of this week and I was not always sure how to act or react to things. It's fun to have a safe place.